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What If I Got My Ass Kicked By The Avengers?!?

Welcome one, welcome all to another Okay, What If response! This week, The Indecisive Eejit has asked us:

Okay, what if you walked out your door and into your favourite film. Which one would it be, and why?

I guess the only movie I would absolutely love to be part of is the Marvel/Avengers movie universe where super heroes do exist! Juls left this one really open, so I don’t really know how to go about this… hang on a sec…

Thor flew over head as the jet brought me and my fellow S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents to the scene of the crime. “Holy crap, that was Thor!” I exclaimed as I pressed my face and hands and face to the window to get a better look.

“Cool it, kid. I understand seeing the Avengers for the first time can be amazing, but we need all hands on deck for this one. Everyone’s full attention!”

“Yes, Director Coulson, Sir. Sorry, Sir.”

The hellicarrier landed and we all made our way out, geared up prepared for whatever was about to meet us there.

KA-BOOM! The air exploded and Thor flew overhead once again, this time away from the scene, and what appeared to be unconscious too.


“All agents! Goldilocks is down!” Director Coulson roared in our ears. “I repeat Thor is down!”

Ahead of us was a giant crater in the ground. As all the agents gathered around the crater, it was evident that this one was going to be different. In the centre of the crater stood a man. A young man, to be precise. Maybe mid-to-late twenties, veering on early thirties. Did I mention he was stark naked.

“Agents, ready your weapons… aim… and…”

“Don’t shoot!” we all looked up to see an Iron Man and (were my eyes truely seeing this?!?) Captain friggin’ America!

“Don’t shoot!” Iron Man repeated. “You guys shoot that thing and you’ll end up like Thor, if not worse! Coulson, tell your men to stand down.”

“Affirmative–stand down, agents!”

We did as commanded. What the hell was going on?!? Who was that guy why on Earth was he naked!!!

“Agent Dean, you were told to stand down!” Coulson roared in my ear. I couldn’t move–I was frozen in place. I suddenly found myself being lifted into the air. Something had an invisible grip on me–was it this strange naked person in the middle of the crater. I was being pulled in his general direction until I found myself face to face with the creep.

Next there was a flash of light–did I change direction?

Why am I suddenly facing the opposite direction?

Where did creepy naked guy go?

Hey look, it’s all the Avengers now. Hulk, Cap, Iron Man, Hawkeye, Black Widow, and it looks like Thor is back on his feet too!

“Wait a minute–” I looked down to find myself standing in the middle of the crater, naked, but… that’s not my p–

“AVENGERS!” Captain America roared. “ASSEMBLE!”

“Oh SH–”


I’ll let you decide what happens next.

8 thoughts on “What If I Got My Ass Kicked By The Avengers?!?”

    1. Thanks Juls! This was truly a challenge for me this week as it’s been a while since I’ve written any fiction/prose. I’ll have to start writing more!

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